The Sensitivity Handbook: Training Materials for Developing Balanced Sensitivity

Part I: Dealing Constructively with Sensitivity Issues

Exercise 3: Imagining Ideal Sensitivity

I. While focusing on someone from your life

1. While focusing on a photo or on a thought of someone toward whom you have or have had a positive relationship

• Create a quiet, caring space through applying the threefold quieting procedure while focusing on the person, and through thinking
  • "You are a human being and have feelings."
  • "I care about you."
  • "I care about your feelings."
• Quiet your mind of preconceptions and nonverbal judgments, by letting go of them with your exhaled breath and by feeling their presence to be as if through a process of writing on water
• Similarly, release all feelings of self-importance
• Similarly, feel no solid walls exist between you preventing heartfelt communication
• Similarly, feel no fear
• Feel joy at the possibilities of the encounter
• Focus attentively on the person
• Be warm and understanding
• Exercise self-control against destructive tendencies
• Show appropriate facial expression and body language
• Imagine responding with kind words and thoughtful actions
• Repeat several times the sequence of directing each state of mind at the person, by using the key phrases
  • "no mental stories"
  • "caring concern"
  • "no judgments"
  • "no self-importance"
  • "no solid walls"
  • "no fears"
  • "joy"
  • "focus"
  • "warmth"
  • "understanding"
  • "self-control"
  • "facial expression"
  • "kind words"
  • "thoughtful actions"
• Feel
  • "How wonderful it would be if I could become like this."
  • "I wish I could become like this."
  • "I shall definitely try to become like this."
• Look at a photograph of a shining example of balanced sensitivity or simply picture the person in your mind
• Request inspiration
• Imagine warm yellow light radiates from the figure and fills you with inspiration
• Imagine the figure dissolves in your heart
• Feel glowing with inspiration

2. Repeat the procedure twice, up to and including repetition of the key phrases, while focusing on a magazine picture of a different anonymous person each time

3. Repeat the procedure while focusing on a photo or on a thought of a loud, overbearing relative or of an obnoxious neighbor or fellow worker

II. While focusing on someone in person

1. Repeat the procedure while sitting in a circle with a group and focusing on each person in turn at each step

2. Repeat the procedure while facing a partner

III. While focusing on yourself

1. While looking in a mirror

• Create a quiet, caring space
• Release fixed attitudes and self-judgments
• Dispel fantasies of self-importance
• Feel no solid walls exist preventing you from relating to yourself
• Feel no fear
• Feel joy at the possibility of being open and relaxed with yourself
• Focus attentively on yourself
• Be warm and understanding
• Exercise self-control against self-destructive tendencies
• Soften your facial expression
• Imagine speaking kindly to yourself and treating yourself thoughtfully
• Repeat the key phrases as before

2. Repeat the procedure without a mirror

3. Repeat the procedure twice, while looking at a photograph of yourself from a different period in the past each time

• Create a quiet, caring space
• Release fixed attitudes and self-judgments
• Dispel fantasies of self-importance
• Feel no solid walls exist preventing you from relating to yourself
• Feel no fear
• Feel joy at the possibility of being open and relaxed with yourself
• Focus attentively on yourself
• Be warm and understanding
• Exercise self-control against self-destructive tendencies
• Soften your facial expression
• Think kind thoughts of forgiveness
• Repeat the key phrases:
• • "no mental stories"
  • "caring concern"
  • "no judgments"
  • "no self-importance"
  • "no solid walls"
  • "no fears"
  • "joy"
  • "focus"
  • "warmth"
  • "understanding"
  • "self-control"
  • "facial expression"
  • "kind thoughts of forgiveness"